After the winter break, Papa K and I returned to learn that one of our fourth graders’ mother had passed. Zak was so sad, and so were we.
I rushed home to find the book The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages. I had read it before and recommended the book to a few friends who did not know how or where to begin the discussion about death with their children or other youth.
After reading, I asked Zak, did this story help him or make him feel better? His response was “No.” I began to rack my brain, wondering what we could do to ease Zak’s pain.
In an effort to console and help Zak to know that we understood his pain, I shared how my girls, Ana and Julie, were only 10 and 15 years old when their Dad died, so Zak was not alone in his grief. Then Papa K shared the story of losing his mother unexpectedly at nineteen years old. He talked about how he was told that boys don’t cry and he did not for more than thirty years.
After Papa K and I told our stories, many of Zak’s classmates shared stories about their loved ones, even pets, who had died, and how they coped with the loss.
This literacy session was filled with grief, but we believe helpful at the same time, for the students as well as the adults. We closed by stressing that death is a natural part of life and that tears, grief, and sadness is part of the process. Healing will come but it takes time. Papa closed by saying, “It is okay for boys to cry too.”